I TOLD YOU I WAS RUBBISH AT THIS STUFF.

I've no idea what to do, should I be reviewing things, should I be doing crafty things, or taking pictures or writing poetry?!? I DON'T KNOW. It's been 5 days since I updated, so clearly I'm not very good at keeping up with this either. Let's see... what's happened over the past few days?

Well, we had a very special holiday known to all as "New Year", it's essentially a celebration of human's ability to CONTROL TIME AND SPAAAAACE! Oh, no. Hold on a second, I'm pretty sure this year is a "leap year" which is just evidence of the fact we can't actually control space and time, in fact, leap years are just a massive cover up for the fact that the calendar doesn't technically work at all. I mean how inconsiderate, people have their BIRTHDAYS on a day that doesn't even technically exist 3 out of every 4 years. Seems stupid to me.
Of course all New Years' really represents is another excuse to get hah-mmerred. And in due keeping with earthly tradition I myself got a little squiffy.

I say a little, I was rip-roaring shit-faced and I don't care who knows it. I textually assaulted several good friends, lost at junior monopoly and almost bust my nose open balancing on my hands. Then I felt shit on New Years' Day of course, and spent the entire time wrapped in a blanket, only emerging at 9 o'clock to go harrass my friend, watch films and eat ice-cream. I think the harassment was the most successful portion of the evening, we left him with a headache and two empty tubs of Ben & Jerry's (Phish food is categorically the best, don't even try to argue with me) and I can now say with glee "Yes, yes I have watched Rush Hour 3, what a superb moving picture."

Looking through my notes I've found several doodles of great beauty and worth, and I thought I'd share some with you today.

Here we appear to have a jellyfish and a one-eyed fish, and a dedication to my friend.

Here we have some things, one of which things is a leek with a face. One of the others is "not-a-goose" (There's no geese in Genoese...) and some strange striped fox-dog-cat-bear saying hello to my friend. And a signature that looks nothing like my actual signature.

I just got some correspondence that means I may have more plans for tonight, other than going to a friend's for tea. More LOTR by the sounds of it! :D HUZZAH.
We'll see anyway. Ugh. I should probably rethink this whole blogging thing. I'll research... TO THE INTERNETS!

It has been christmas...

What a super time of year, right? RIGHT? Yeah, right. It is really lovely and all that but it's also really shit because it reminds me of how single I am. But that aside it's a rather grand holiday; turkey and trimmings, tree and trimmings, leg beard trimming (yes I had my bi-monthly shave, huzzah!)

I just managed to tussle with my new headphones for a full minute before realising they were backwards. Super.


Christmas starts on christmas eve for us with a trip to Auntie B's! We had home boiled ham, roasties, french onion soup and "trees on toast" (cheese on toast shaped like xmas trees!) and various other sundries; and of course conversation took a turn for the surreal. Here are some things I learnt:

• Grandma B used to take speed (amphetamines as diet pills)
• everyone has a shit-gate (mine was dealing with someone else's turd at uni)
• um... my cousins favourite christmas song is Greg Lake's I Believe in Father Christmas (mine is probably A Spaceman Came Travelling by Chris de Burgh

Can't remember anything else.

THEN CHRISTMAS DAY. So. Many. Presents. Here is a select few:

• digital camera
• renewed mobile contract
• bangle
• Keats poetry
• guylian belgian chocolate seashells
• a knitted whale (his name is Sausage)

and many more, in all it was a pretty amazing collection of gifts and I'm fully chuffed and very appreciative indeed. Shall I write thank you notes? I think I will this year, that'd be good really. I just have the trials of trying to remember who got me what though, having made this decision, NOT GONNA BE EASY. 

And of course we had a delicioso turkey feast for dinner and then various marvellous puddings including a cheese board which is probably one of my all time favourite things, I mean, if I were ever on death row (quite a stretch I know) cheese board with jacobs cream crackers and lurpak would be up there with Baxter's cream of tomato soup for a last meal. Anyway, I digress. Christmas day was superb really, but then again it always is. (Apart from the inevitable christmas headache and singleton gloom that persists on encroaching on family occasions)

Yesterday (yes, yesterday. It's already tomorrow here) we hosted Boxing day feasting at mi casa which basically consisted of a lot of sandwich materials and some spiffy tomato-mozarella salads and over half a bottle of Croft's sherry, woopsie! And not forgetting my lovely little trip to Tesco's with N to get Ben and Jerry's Phish Food and giving him his joint present (NERF GUNS. I am a good person I swear). Our food spread led to me carrying the food-baby equivalent of octuplets I'm pretty sure, but I had a bath so I feel not so bad as I did earlier now.

I might post some christmas pictures tomorrow. XX